In watching the developments of the Diddy trial, one thing has stuck with me: it’s the defense’s strategy. 

“The jury might say, ‘OK, great, he was a bad person,’” said the defense. “He’s a girlfriend beater. But that doesn’t make him guilty of the charges.” 

And this: 

“For Cassie, she made a choice every single day for years—a choice to stay with him, a choice to fight for him.” 

Let that sink in. 

This is the legal argument being made in a courtroom today. 

Survivors of sexual assault and intimate partner violence do not “choose” their abuse. They manage their survival. 

Staying in abusive relationships—especially those entangled with power, fame, financial dependence, emotional manipulation, and fear—is not a sign of consent. It’s a testament to how trauma bonds and psychological control work. 

We need to stop expecting survivors to act a certain way to be believed: 

  • “Why didn’t she leave?” 
  • “Why didn’t she say no?” 
  • “Why didn’t she tell someone sooner?” 

This kind of questioning is rooted in misunderstanding trauma—and it’s one of the reasons why so many stay silent. 

Statements like these from the defense aren’t just offensive—they’re dangerous. They normalize violence, minimize abuse, and embolden perpetrators. They reduce intimate partner violence to “bad behavior,” rather than a serious pattern of control and coercion. 

And they send a clear message to survivors: 
Even if you speak, you might not be believed. Even if you’re believed, your abuser might walk free—because people will say you “chose” it. 

We cannot let that stand. 

Cassie’s bravery in testifying in the criminal trial, despite having previously settled her civil lawsuit, is a powerful act of reclaiming her story. She’s not just seeking justice for herself. She’s showing other survivors that they are not alone. 

This article from the New York Times details what she shared in court—and why it matters so much right now: 
Cassie Details Years of Alleged Abuse in Trial Against Sean Combs (NYT) 

Let’s change the way we talk about abuse. Let’s challenge the systems that excuse it. Let’s stand up with survivors—loudly, consistently, and without apology.