For many survivors of sexual violence, silence can feel like the only option. Fear, shame, and the lack of accountability in the justice system often create an environment where speaking out seems too overwhelming or even dangerous. When survivors do come forward, they are frequently met with doubt, victim-blaming, or outright dismissal. This lack of acknowledgment can deepen feelings of isolation and powerlessness.

Yet, there is immense power in breaking the silence. Sharing your story—whether publicly or in a safe, supportive space—can be a transformative act of reclaiming your voice and your agency. It is not just about seeking justice; it is about shifting the narrative and taking back control.

“Shame Needs to Change Sides”

Survivors of sexual violence have long carried the burden of shame—a burden that was never theirs to bear. Society has conditioned survivors to question their own actions, to wonder if they were somehow responsible, and to fear the judgment of others. This misplaced shame has silenced too many voices for too long.

Survivor and advocate Gisele Pelicot put it simply but powerfully: “Shame needs to change sides.”

These five words represent a crucial shift in how we, as a society, must approach sexual assault. The shame does not belong to the survivor. It belongs to the perpetrators and the systems that allow them to act with impunity. When survivors speak up, they help expose the truth—that the responsibility for sexual violence lies solely with those who commit it.

This reframing is essential for healing. When survivors reject shame and place accountability where it belongs, they can begin to reclaim their narratives. They no longer have to carry the weight of someone else’s wrongdoing. Instead, they can step into their truth with courage and self-compassion.

The Power of Telling Your Story

Every survivor’s journey is unique, and speaking out is a deeply personal decision. No one is ever obligated to share their story. However, for those who choose to do so, it can be an incredibly powerful and healing experience.

Telling your story does not have to mean going public. It can mean confiding in a trusted friend, seeking therapy, joining a support group, or writing in a journal. What matters is that survivors find a way to express their truth in a way that feels right for them.

Why does telling your story matter?

  • Breaking the silence: Sexual violence thrives in secrecy. When survivors speak up, they challenge the culture of silence that protects perpetrators.
  • Reclaiming power: Telling your story on your own terms allows you to take back control over your narrative and identity.
  • Connecting with others: Survivors who speak out often find solidarity and support from others who have experienced similar trauma. This connection can be incredibly validating and healing.
  • Inspiring change: Each survivor who speaks out contributes to a larger movement toward justice, awareness, and systemic change.

From Trauma to Empowerment

Despite the trauma she endured, Gisele Pelicot has no regrets about sharing her story. She did not owe it to anyone, yet she chose to speak out to shine a light on the realities of sexual violence and advocate for change.

Her bravery inspired others to come forward, fostering a sense of collective empowerment. By refusing to stay silent, she shattered the stigma surrounding survivors and forced the world to confront the painful truth of sexual violence.

Survivors who choose to share their stories often describe feeling a shift—from feeling powerless to feeling empowered. By acknowledging what happened, by putting words to their experience, they are no longer defined by silence. They are reclaiming their voice, their agency, and their right to healing.

A Ripple Effect of Change

One of the most powerful aspects of speaking out is its ability to create change far beyond the individual survivor. When one person tells their story, it has a ripple effect. It reaches others who may still be struggling in silence, letting them know they are not alone. It challenges societal norms and sparks important conversations about consent, accountability, and justice.

Gisele Pelicot’s story is not just about her own journey—it is a catalyst for broader change. It highlights the pervasive nature of sexual violence and the systemic barriers survivors face. But it is also a testament to resilience, courage, and the power of one voice to inspire millions.

Healing at Your Own Pace

Not every survivor will choose to speak publicly, and that is okay. Healing is not a one-size-fits-all journey. What matters most is that each survivor finds a path that feels safe and empowering for them.

For some, that may mean seeking therapy or joining a support group. For others, it may mean advocating for policy changes or sharing their story with close friends and family. There is no right or wrong way to heal—only the way that feels best for you.

Final Thoughts

Survivors of sexual violence deserve to be heard, believed, and supported. Speaking up—whether in private or publicly—can be a powerful step toward healing. It is a way of reclaiming power, dismantling shame, and demanding accountability from those who should bear it.

If you or someone you love is a survivor, know this: Your story matters. Your voice matters. And you are not alone.

For those who are ready to share their stories, there is a world of support waiting. And for those who are not yet ready, know that healing is still possible—on your own terms, in your own time. The most important thing is that you continue to move forward, knowing that the shame is not yours to carry.

Shame needs to change sides—and together, we can make sure that it does.